That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
