physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
