It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
