She's JV to your varsity
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The feeling are messing with the penis
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
