My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
