I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
