Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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