We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize