A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize