Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
