At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
