There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
