your room smells of hookers.
And success
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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