Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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