Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My vagina just recognized that song.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
