I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
