I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
