omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
