were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
