What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have surprise drugs for everyone
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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