nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize