You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
