Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
