Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
