I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
