I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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