I heard we made out
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
