she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize