Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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