I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
