Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
