There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I believe in your delicious
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
