after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
