I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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