Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
