I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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