you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize