Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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