i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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