They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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