now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
