ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
