I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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