can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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