Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize