she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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