She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
