Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
