she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
