I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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