...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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