I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize