only if we run a train.
done.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
