I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize