did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we're so committed to being not committed
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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