Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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