Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
