did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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