I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
