I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
