I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
