It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
