No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
