I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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