Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
