i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
