I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
