Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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