this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
