i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
