why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
