You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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